Raising children in Finland

All children have either one or two guardians whose duty is to take care of the child’s wellbeing and upbringing. Children have the right to protection and care. Children also have the right to their own opinions and adults should take these into account when making decisions regarding the child.

In Finland, people think it is good for children to learn independence at an early age. Children are also allowed to be outside alone at a younger age than in some other countries. In Finland, it is also considered important that children are allowed to play and remain children. Children spend a lot of time outside, no matter the weather.

Early childhood education and care is meant for children aged 0–6. Its purpose is to support the child’s growth, development and learning. At early childhood education, children play, move, spend time outdoors and learn social skills. Children who have moved to Finland learn Finnish or Swedish in early childhood education and school. At home and with family, it is beneficial for the parents to speak their own language with the child.

The video below discusses children’s rights and children’s life in Finland.

Video: KotonaSuomessa Lasten oikeudet ja kasvattaminen (SUOMI) youtube.com (Finnish, Swedish, English, Chinese, Tigrinya, French, Sorani, Estonian, Thai, Dari, Kurmanji, Somali, Russian, Arabic)

The child’s parents are usually also the guardians

In Finland, a child can officially have one or two parents, meaning mothers or fathers. Official parenthood is usually based on biological parenthood, but sometimes an official parent can be someone else than the child’s biological parent. This can be the case, for instance, in rainbow families where a child may have two official mothers, or if the child has adoptive parents.

The official, legally defined parenthood does not always correspond with the family’s lived reality. Nowadays in Finland, parenthood is often considered related more to the emotional bonds between family members and shared life than merely biology or official parenthood. In practice, parenthood means caring for and raising the child, taking care of their needs and loving them.

All children under the age of 18 have one or two guardians. Typically, the guardians are the parents of the child. Sometimes the guardian can be someone else. The guardian decides about the child’s care, upbringing, dwelling place and other important matters. According to Finnish law, a child’s wishes must be heard in matters relating to them. The child must have a safe living environment as well as positive and close relationships with other people. The guardian’s duty is to take care of the child’s wellbeing and balanced development.

When a child turns 18 years old, they are of legal age. After this, they can decide about all of their own matters on their own. Many young people become independent early on and move away from their parents. The Finnish state supports the independence of young people financially. Kela pays more financial aid to students who live without their parents than to those who live with their parents. A young person who lives on their own can also receive housing allowance. Most young adults still need support and advice from their parents and family.

Children’s rights are for all children

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child is an international convention in which nations have agreed together on rights belonging to all children. Almost all countries in the world are committed to this agreement, including Finland.

The Convention on the Rights of the Child is broad. Some of the rights included are common human rights which belong to all people. Some rights apply especially to children, ensuring their development and protection. Nations are obligated to make sure that both children and adults are aware of children’s rights.

According to the convention, all children have the right to care and protection. Anyone under the age of 18 is a child. It is the duty of adults to make sure that the rights of children are respected. Children must be protected from anything that threatens their rights.

The most central ideas of the Convention on the Rights of the Child are included in the four basic principles. These are:

1. Non-discrimination. The principle of non-discrimination means that all children should enjoy the rights of the child. No child’s rights should be limited because of their own or their parents’ gender, language, religion or other reason.
2. The best interests of the child. The best interest of the child must be put first. This means that when making decisions regarding the child, all authorities must first and foremost consider the child’s best interest.
3. The right to survival and development. Each child has the right to live, survive and develop. This includes all children having equal rights to the healthcare they need.
4. The right to having views heard. The child has the right to have their own views heard. If the child is able to have a view on a matter regarding them, they have the right to freely express this view. The child’s view must be taken into consideration according to their age and development.

Raising children is directed by notions of children, childhood and parenthood

The Finnish notion of children emphasises the child’s own agency

The notion of children means what people think children are like. This also contains how the relationship between children and adults is seen. The type of notion of children that is prevalent in society affects how children are treated in everyday life. Society’s notion of children also affects legislation regarding children as well as school curriculums.

In Finland, children are seen as active agents. Children are thus not merely the objects of adult protection and decisions, but rather children have their own thoughts and opinions that adults should respect. Parents and society should support the children’s development into independent individuals who are able to make responsible decisions.

On the other hand, children and the uniqueness of childhood should be protected. Sometimes the requirement of listening to the child’s views and the requirement to protect the child can be conflicting. Then the adults must evaluate what is ultimately best for the child’s best interest.

A Finnish notion of children also contains the idea that play is important. Through play, children learn important skills, but play itself is also important. Playing brings the child joy and is an important part of being a child. All children have the right to play.

The current Finnish ideal notion of parenthood emphasises loving parenthood

The notion of ideal parenthood, meaning ideas of what a good parent is like, has changed over time. Now in Finland, it is generally thought that a good parent is above all loving and patient. They spend a lot of time with their children. Before, it was more common to emphasise discipline and the parent’s authority. Now parents strive to talk more with their children and explain why things are done in a certain way.

There are many ways to be a good parent. From the child’s point of view, it is most important that they feel loved and valued as they are. The child feels safe and their basic needs are met.

The video below discusses how immigrant parents can support their children growing up in Finnish culture.

Video: KotonaSuomessa Perheen hyvinvointi – Mielenterveyttä maahantuloon youtube.com (Arabic, Dari, English, Ukrainian, Russian, Congo Swahili)

All disciplinary violence is forbidden in Finland

Disciplinary violence means a parent’s or someone else’s use of violence as a form of punishment toward the child or as a way to make the child behave in a desired manner. All disciplinary violence is forbidden by Finnish law. This violence includes both corporal punishments and emotional violence as discipline. Corporal punishment means anything that is meant to cause the child pain, for example, hitting, pulling hair, smacking fingers or shaking a baby. Emotional violence can be, for instance, threatening with violence, ridicule or deliberate negligence.

Disciplinary violence is detrimental to a child’s development. The harms of even slight disciplinary violence to children have been widely and convincingly proven by research from around the world. It may seem that violent discipline is effective at changing the child’s behaviour, because it causes the child immediate pain and fear. In the long term, however, this only adds to the child’s aggression, fear and behavioural issues. It is an inefficient and harmful method of upbringing in all senses. Children who have experienced violent discipline grow up to be adults that feel worse, are more ill and more violent than those who have not faced such discipline.

Setting boundaries with a child can sometimes be challenging. All parents need to learn ways to direct and sometimes limit the child without violence. Parents should learn to recognise their own emotions which may lead to disciplining the child. Nowadays it is thought that children learn to respect adults who tell them clearly what sort of behaviour is acceptable and what is not. A good parent is consistent and fair. A good parent listens to the child and explains why they want things to be done a certain way.

Children in Finland live rather freely

Children in Finland are quite independent

Generally in Finland, it is highly valued that people are independent and get by on their own. This also applies to children. Even small children are encouraged to do things on their own, for example, putting on their own clothes. Sometimes this requires patience from adults. In Finland, it is considered important for children to learn to take responsibility for their own matters. A child feels a sense of achievement when they learn to do things independently.

In Finland, it is also common for children to be outside alone already at a young age. It is, for instance, normal for 7-year-old first graders to walk to school alone. This is connected to the value placed on children’s independence, but children being outside alone is also made possible by the safety of the environment and the fact that most children go to school near their home. It is important to teach children about road safety before they are allowed to move in traffic alone.

Sometimes too much independence may be expected of children. We must remember that children are individuals. Some are more ready to be independent at a younger age, whereas others need more time. The adult’s task is to ensure that the child is not required to do more than they are ready for.

It is good for children to spend as much time as possible outdoors

In Finland, children spend time outside no matter the weather or the season. For example, at daycare, a lot of time is spent outdoors and the group may go on trips into the forest. Children must have outside clothes suitable for different weathers. Getting dirty outside is considered a sign that the children have had fun.

It is also healthy to spend time outdoors. It is good for a child’s development that they run, jump and climb. Earlier in Finland, children have been able to move freely in their environment, but now children move much too little. Children are also restricted in the name of safety from climbing or playing physical games. It is important for a child to be allowed to explore their environment and try different modes of moving.

Spending time outdoors and moving about are good ways for children to release energy. Moving about outside during school breaks improves children’s concentration during classes. Physical education at school is also important for a child’s wellbeing and social relations.

Friendships with children of the same age are important

Friendships are formed at daycare, school and hobbies. Children often see their friends during evenings and weekends and play together indoors and outdoors. The parents of small children often organise play dates with the parents of a child’s friend, but school-aged children meet up with friends independently.

Sleepovers for children and young people in Finland in each other’s homes are normal. Sleeping over means that a child goes to their friend’s house in the evening and spends the night there. Sleepovers are agreed upon with the parents, so that the situation is safe for the child and the parent knows where the child is and with whom. Sleepovers help children and youths to strengthen their relationships with friends.

Birthday parties are also an important way to create and maintain relationships for small children and school-aged children. Birthday parties can be held at home or outside the home. Guests often bring a small gift, but these are not expected to be expensive. The parents discuss with the child how many guests can be invited. Sometimes children may use birthday invitations or not inviting someone as a use of power in their relationships. Parents should make sure that invitations are not sent out to all but one of the children in the class.

Young people’s self-determination increases with age

When a child becomes a teenager, they begin to slowly detach themselves from their parents. Parents must give young people space and the opportunity to develop into their own independent individuals. When a young person feels that they are trusted and they are given responsibilities, they learn to be responsible. At the same time, the young person still needs their parents and the boundaries that they set.

In Finland, it is thought that self-determination also applies to children to an age-appropriate extent. When a child becomes a teenager, their self-determination also increases. The youth have the right to decide what clothes they wear, who their friends are, and what they study.
Parents should give young people more freedom as they grow and show that they are able to take responsibility for themselves. For example, curfews can be later the older the young person is.

Youths cannot be demanded to tell parents everything about their lives. It is, however, important for parents to show an interest in the young person and their life. This lets the youth feel that they can discuss their issues with their parents if they want to. At best, a family is a safe pillar and a starting block from which the youth can push forward into their own life.

More information about the legal rights and obligations of different aged children and youths: Children’s and youths’ rights and obligations (infofinland.fi)

Early childhood education is a child’s right

Most children take part in early childhood education and care before starting school. Early childhood education and care can be at a daycare centre (päiväkoti), a private or family caretaker (perhepäivähoitaja) or open centre-based early education (avoin varhaiskasvatus). A family caretaker means that a trained caretaker cares for children in their own home.

All children under school age have the right to early childhood education and care. The guardians decide whether the child participates in early childhood education and how this is arranged. Early childhood education and care is a part of the Finnish educational system and it is an important stage in a child’s development and learning. The early childhood education of under school age children – children from ages 0–6 – is not school-like studying.

The objective of early childhood education and care is to promote the child’s growth, development, health and wellbeing. In early childhood education, children learn social skills, learning skills and skills to help take care of oneself. This learning occurs on the child’s own terms through play and exploration.

Six-year-olds are obligated to participate in pre-primary education (esiopetus) which is usually organised in daycare centres or schools. Pre-primary education lasts four to five hours a day. A child in pre-primary education can spend the rest of their parents’ workday in early childhood education.

More information about pre-primary education: Pre-primary and comprehensive education

Early childhood education and care is organised by municipalities and private daycare centres

When a family wants their child to enter early childhood education, they must apply for it. A place in early childhood education can be applied for from municipal daycare centres, a family caretaker, or a private daycare centre.

Usually early childhood education and care is organised during the day, normally between 6:30 to 17:30. The child is not meant to be in daycare all this time, but rather the child’s day in early childhood education should be as short as possible – especially for a small child.

In some daycare centres, it is possible to receive early childhood education and care during other hours if the parents work shifts or night work. Care during evenings, nights and weekends is called early childhood education and care with extended hours (vuorohoito). The child has the right to extended hours if neither of the guardians are able to take care of the child during evenings, nights or weekends due to work or studies. Extended hours cannot be used during the parents’ holiday, days off or sick leave.

In municipal early childhood education and care, the fees depend on the family’s income, the number of children and the number of days or hours the child spends in daycare. If the family’s income is under the legally defined income limit, no fee is charged. If the family has multiple children in early childhood education, they receive a sibling discount. These fees vary slightly in different municipalities. Municipal early childhood education and care is usually cheaper than private early childhood education and care.

More information on different options for early childhood education and care: Early childhood education (infofinland.fi)

What is done in early childhood education and care?

The family is usually able to visit the daycare centre or the family caretaker and the daycare personnel before the child starts early childhood education and care. Cooperation between the home and the daycare centre supports the child’s development. The parents meet the staff each day when they take the child into daycare and when they pick them up.

The child receives education and care. The child’s language skills develop quickly and they learn social skills. At daycare, children eat breakfast, lunch and a snack, or if they have extended hours, they eat the meals that apply to those hours. They play, spend time outdoors, and rest.

The objective of early childhood education is that children learn to be active and they develop enthusiasm for learning new things. Finnish early childhood education contains the notion that the child’s ability to act in a group and to learn new things is best supported through gentle guidance. Play, moving, self-expression and spending time with other children are all important.

All children are different. That is why the early childhood education staff and the parents or guardians compile an individual early childhood education and care plan for the child (varhaiskasvatussuunnitelma, vasu). The daycare centre organises a discussion about this plan with the parents to verify the plan. During this discussion, the parents and the teacher discuss the child. The teacher writes a plan depicting the child’s development, growth and learning, and how all of this can be supported.

Municipalities, organisations and companies also organise open centre-based early education. This may include clubs with play, singing, crafts and other activities organised for children. Some of these clubs are such which the parents attend with their children, in some the child can be in the club without their parents. Clubs organised by companies cost money. Open early education is meant for children who are otherwise cared for at home.

The video below explains more about early childhood education and care in Finland.

Video: OPH Varhaiskasvatuksesta vanhemmille (youtube.com) (Finnish, Swedish, English)

Moving to Finland can change the roles in a family

When a family moves to Finland from another country, the family members need to learn a lot of new things about Finland and their new environment. It is important for parents to know about Finnish culture, values and society. Then they will know how things are usually done in Finland. This knowledge and understanding helps families do well and integrate into their new country. It is also easier for the parents to support their children in succeeding in Finland.

When a family moves to Finland, it is good for the children to quickly enter school or early childhood education. There the child will learn Finnish or Swedish and will receive friends of the same age. While the children are in early childhood education or at school, the parents have time to work, apply for jobs, study, or manage personal matters.

In a new country, the family’s internal roles can sometimes change. All family members go through the same issues in a new country, but each person processes these at their own pace. Children may adapt more quickly than their parents. When children assume new values or habits, this may cause tension and disputes in the family. It is important for the parents to discuss these matters together and with their children, as well as discuss feelings that arise in this new environment. With time, it is possible to find a suitable way of living in Finland for all members of the family.

Lisätietoa maahanmuuton vaikutuksista rooleihin sivulla How does it feel to move to a new country?

Relationships may also run into surprising challenges when the whole family is faced with new situations. The roles of men and women can be different in Finland compared to a previous home country. If one partner is originally from Finland, has lived in Finland for a longer time or for some other reason already knows the language better than the other, they are able to help and support their partner. It is important for both to be active and learn the language, so that neither is too dependent on the other. This also strengthens the relationship.

Sometimes a person has to move to a new country alone. Then they have no safe and familiar family around them. It is normal for it to take time to adapt to big changes both personally and within the family.

Multilingualism is a richness for a child

When a family moves to Finland, it is important for all members of the family to learn Finnish or Swedish. It is important for the parents to encourage their child to speak Finnish or Swedish at school. Sometimes parents may think that children will learn Finnish or Swedish more quickly if the whole family speaks the new language at home. They may think that knowing the parents’ own language is of no use to the child in Finland.

However, research shows that learning a new language is easier when the child knows their own native language well. One’s own native language is the language of emotions. That is why it is important for the interaction between parents and children that the parents speak to the child in the language that they speak best themselves. One’s own native language is a part of a person’s identity and culture. All children have the right to learn their own language and take pride in it. Knowing one’s own native language also helps to stay in contact with relatives and friends.

A family can use many languages. Children are able to learn many languages at once and a child can have more than one native language. The most important thing is that parents speak and read to the child and talk with the child as much as possible, no matter the language.

According to the Finnish constitution, everyone who lives in Finland has the right to maintain and develop their own language and culture. It is possible to receive lessons for one’s own native language at school.

​​​​​​​More information about children learning language: Monikielinen perhe, vuorovaikutus ja kielen oppiminen (hyvakysymys.fi) ​​​​​​​(Finnish, subtitles: Arabic, English, Russian, Somali)

In the video below, three young people explain what it has been like to grow up in Finland in two cultures.

Video: THL Lapsesta aikuiseksi kahden kulttuurin välissä – Mielenterveyttä maahantuloon lisämateriaali (youtube.com) (Arabic, Dari, English, Ukrainian, Russian, Congo Swahili)